Day Four: Parents!

Oh parents. I'm not always entirely sure how to explain my parents. My usual is just to say something like, "Once you meet my parents, I make a hell of a lot more sense." I'm a pretty well balanced representation of their DNA and quirks.

My dad fancies himself a modern day mix of Grizzly Adams and Jack Bauer. One day he hopes to live in the middle of the woods completely by himself. He used to tell my mom and I he was going to fake his own death and go to live in the woods so we could collect insurance. Nothing would tickle my dad more than being involved in a hold-up or attacked by a bear, so he can prove his stuff. He's also a teensy bit paranoid and a huge worrier. Because of these things, my daddy raised me to be a survivalist also. And a worrier. I can load, fire, and clean most guns, can use a bow and arrow with moderate proficiency, and I drive around town with a fully loaded "Oh S**T" can he made for me; stocked with MREs, fire starter kits, first-aid things, and water. Also, if the roommate is more than 20 minutes late from the time he is normally home and hasn't told me anything, I immediately begin to imagine horrible scenarios that could have been avoided if only he had my upbringing. My dad is also a negotiator of incredible skill, and raised me to be a salesperson (because everything is sales).

My mom... Oh my mom. Nothing really gets to my mom. She's got thick skin and a killer sense of humor that gets her through most days. Between both of my parents, I was raised never to expect much from my employers, but learned a lot of excellent coping mechanisms. My mom is snarky, sarcastic, and has feathers in her hair. Really. She's a cancer survivor, and one of the strongest women I know. Also, chemo taught me that she has a really weirdly shaped head. She is fiercely empathetic, which I know is a strange way to put it, thanks in part to raising two mental children (my brother has Asperger's Syndrome and I'm bipolar, though both of these went undiagnosed until we were much older). She also takes blood samples at the hospital and can spot a good vein from across a crowded restaurant, but can't tell you what color eyes somebody has after a 20 minute heart to heart.

My parents are both absolutely mad, and I love them crazy much.